Having a sponsor isn’t a necessary element of 12-step groups, but having a mentor to guide the process can help facilitate movement through the steps and maintain sobriety.
Working through alcohol addiction is never easy, especially when combating it alone. The hold that alcohol can have on a person is so strong that it is extremely difficult to overcome alcoholism without any outside help. That is exactly why treatment programs and fellowship groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) were formed.
Such groups are designed to help people battling an alcohol addiction by providing them with the support and guidance needed to stay strong in their sobriety. Since 1939, AA has helped millions of people recover from alcohol addiction.
Available throughout the country, AA meetings comfort people suffering from alcohol use disorder by surrounding them with peers going through the same thing. Whether they are newly sober or have already been on the journey to sobriety for a long time, people dealing with addiction to alcohol can find AA helpful when it comes to staying on a sober path.
One of the integral parts of AA is sponsorship. The idea behind having a sponsor in AA is to help those recovering from alcohol misuse have someone to keep them accountable and to offer support and guidance throughout the journey. While it is certainly possible to stay sober without a sponsor, having one along the way can make the process more successful.
Sponsors and sponsored people in AA work as equals to address risks to sobriety and maintain recovery. An AA sponsor shares their experiences, knowledge and previous mistakes with their peers in an effort to boost their success.
Often, sponsors are people who have managed to maintain long-term sobriety, but sometimes, they only have a short amount of time in recovery. There are no requirements regarding who can and cannot be a sponsor. All the person needs is life experience and a desire to help others “live sober.”
As with most elements of AA, choosing a sponsor is a very informal and easy process. Finding a sponsor and forming a relationship requires no specific formula or system.
Typically, the newcomer seeks out a person who seems compatible with their personality, sensibilities and passion for recovery. Once they identify this individual, the newcomer simply asks the person to become their sponsor. Rather than being bothered or annoyed by this request, many members are grateful and humbled to be asked the question, as becoming a sponsor is something of an honor.
Sponsors can be either male or female, but there seems to be some direction away from people to whom one could be romantically attracted. For this reason, straight individuals are encouraged to stick with sponsors from the same sex, while people who are gay find opposite-sex sponsors a better fit.
Since there are no firm rules or structures in place, it may take some trial and error to arrive upon a great fit.
Findings show that people who acquire a sponsor early in the recovery process enjoy longer periods of abstinence. Studies on the impact of sponsors suggest:
In addition to abstinence, there are plenty of benefits to having an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor:
While there are certainly many theories as to why an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor can be of great help, some may wonder if they are really necessary. Although choosing a sponsor is not mandatory, studies suggest that sponsors can increase the chances of success in recovery.
Results from several studies conducted over the years continue to show that having a 12-step sponsor is associated with better outcomes than not having one. The benefits of an AA sponsor/sponsee relationship are numerous for those going through alcohol addiction.
If you are not yet in recovery and are in need of addiction treatment, it is best to start by detoxing safely in a medically supervised setting, followed by entering into a formal addiction treatment program that will provide you with tools you need to be successful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. This can include attendance at AA meetings and possible work with a sponsor.
Finding a sponsor may seem like an intimidating or confusing process, but it does not have to be. Often, a person can find a sponsor through the connections formed before, during and after their frequent AA meetings.
These periods of time offer tremendous opportunities for fellowship and building new connections with people dedicated to recovery. They can also serve as wonderful chances to perform informal interviews of potential sponsor candidates, as one can learn the person’s:
Based on this information, a person can decide if the sponsor would meet their needs. When someone is attending online meetings or multiple meetings during the week, the process can change.
If meetings are not attended in person, finding a sponsor can be more challenging, so the person may have to be more direct, outgoing and intentional with their goal. Rather than using time before or after an AA meeting, the person may need to bring the topic of sponsorship up during the meeting to stir the conversation in that direction. Group members can address the topic then or pause the conversation until after the group concludes.
If it seems like you are struggling to find a sponsor, do not give up on the process. While you continue your journey, consider utilizing other AA members to gain support. They may be able to help with recovery and point you in the direction of available sponsors.
Choosing an AA sponsor is never going to be an exact science. The process takes some amount of guesswork and trial and error. No one has to find their ideal match right away, so allow for differing levels of success.
Like any relationship, people should think about who they would be compatible with, what they value in a sponsor, and how they would like to approach recovery. A frequently overlooked factor is the notion of choosing the type of sponsor one needs, rather than the one they want. The needed sponsor may make recovery uncomfortable and challenging at times, but this discomfort may lead to more significant benefits in the long run. When recovery is too comfortable, it may not last.
Some of the best qualities to look for in your sponsor include:
Sponsors are not necessary, but they are very helpful. If you or a loved one is interested in finding a sponsor or starting the recovery process, contact The Recovery Village at Palmer Lake. The experts at our Palmer Lake, Colorado facility can help with all stages of recovery to find the well-being people deserve.
The Recovery Village aims to improve the quality of life for people struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder with fact-based content about the nature of behavioral health conditions, treatment options and their related outcomes. We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider.